I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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