I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
