I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
