After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
