just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
