Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
