if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
