Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
