school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
