I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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