I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
