Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
