i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
