i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
