Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
