im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
