How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I've blown a few things in my day
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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