i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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