OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize