My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
