i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize