he thought i was a dude.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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