So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
