Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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