Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
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