We need to rekindle our bromance
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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