She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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