The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
