i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Will you blow on my dice?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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