It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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