She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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