why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
