Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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