i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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