You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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