the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
