Farmville is her only friend.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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