i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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