One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
