windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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