JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
