Someone shit on the floor
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
