Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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