We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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