About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
