She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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