She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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