bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
