He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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