8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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