I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize