It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
