quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
everyone is single if you try hard enough
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
