It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
