the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
tell me about the fingering
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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