It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
