so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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