so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
