Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
how do flat chested girls get laid?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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