the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
