It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize