Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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