Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
