She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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