five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
