Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
