; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize